The hopes and dreams

The hopes and dreams

This weekend was your due date. I’m pretty certain if you had made it you’d have been here by now. To believe it’s been nine months. Nine months of living lives. For those few days when people said oh I’m sorry you were thought of. Those few...
Ohana

Ohana

Today I should have seen you for the first time. Two of you maybe one. Today will be a little empty, being places I was not meant to be. Last night I dreamt that I was in the scan room, Z running around with me. I saw your flashing heart beat and you wiggling away. My...
1 in 4 the same number two very different meanings.

1 in 4 the same number two very different meanings.

This maybe hard to read, this was hard to write. This was written through some tears, some sitting in the waiting room, with anger and sadness with grief and being emotionally and physical drained but also with that percentage of being thankful for what I have. I...

Infertility awareness week.

To be honest I think working where I was at the time was how we knew. Working as a nanny for a gynaecologist you just start chatting away. Was asked did I want children in the future etc, conversation most probably went umm not too sure, I suppose so when I’m a...

Ivf

After discussing this over breakfast this week I thought I’ll write this as I’ve never actually told my story and if course it’s a huge part of all our lives. I’ve never hidden the fact Z is an ivf baby. Before having Z of course I read, I researched, I looked at all...

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