15 years ago I remember like it was yesterday, eating doughnuts and drinking coffee in Clavier waiting on our children to come back from ski school. 

The one day I left my phones behind, the one day there was no post to take back to the hotel to collect my phone even though I knew I needed it. I knew something was wrong. 

Back at the hotel and around 15 missed calls from my mother saying to ring her. My grampa had passed away. 

 I was going home, if that meant handing my notice in that’s exactly what I was doing. That evening whilst packing I drank baileys, one of his favourite drinks. 

This was one of my first big losses, he was the only grandpa I had, the only one I can ever remember even though as a baby I had them all. He was my Bamps.

I know I’m lucky, I have memories of what we got up to. These include going on holidays, to Saturday morning shopping and a frothy coffee before we started. To being picked up on a Sunday morning to drop us off at church. Taking his food up to bed at 5.30 on a Sunday before going home. Sleeping up on a Friday night and begging him to wake me up early when he got up, early as in 4-5am. He always woke me around 6-6.30 and told me he’d slept late that day! Now I’m sure he’s waking Z at those times, come on I begged him for years for the early morning wake ups! 

Maybe living in his house makes me think of him a little more often even though he’s been gone 15 years. I like to think he’s looking out for Z, as well as he’s the one waking him! As well as my little angel babies who get to do all the fun things with him as I got to do, including games! He would do anything for any of his grandkids he was a little daft that way. He even rang up the rspca for me to see how I could care for a lady bird that I found in the winter, I was only about 7! He buried him for me and made a little cross out of half a pencil. 

One story he used to tell was about his travels in the RAF and being in Aden, he had scars on his leg, he told me a deadly snake had attacked him. It wasn’t until only a few years ago I learnt this was a lie! I’m sure I told every one my Bamps had a really big scar from a deadly snake attack! 

I don’t go and put flowers on a grave, I always have a glass of baileys. Tonight it’s an iced baileys, I’m sure he’d be the first to drink this one straight from the fridge! 

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