What is friendship? Since having Z I’ve often wondered this. I used to say I had a good group of mates, always out having a laugh, getting drunk, going to the cinema etc. We grew older, we went to each other’s houses for coffee chats after work. Some had children, some got different jobs, both meant different things, different priorities and different friends.
I kind of kept in touch with certain ones, during my time working away, I’d write letters, make phone calls and meet up when I was home. How many of these do I keep in touch with now? One, yup one. I’ve known her since I was 11, she was my first best friend in ‘big’ school! Still is one of my best mates.
I’ve always had different groups of friends, I suppose I still do! Now it’s my mates and the playgroup girls. I know both groups would be there for me if I needed anything.
My one mate I’ve known since I was 3, yes, that’s nearly all my life! I’m still very good friends with her, I’d say one of my closest friends. There’s been times when I’ve not seen her in a while, but we’ve always kept in touch and now Z and her son will ( hopefully!) be best buddies too, and as they’ve know each other all their lives. Z was 8 months when I was born. They maybe in the same class if Z gets to go to that school. If he don’t I’m sure there will still be play dates with F and I.
My group of friends consist of school friends and college friends, so again known some of these since I was 11, some since 16. That’s a long time, half my life! I read somewhere once, that you change your friends roughly every 7 years. I suppose in some ways that’s true for me, but I’ve kept my true friends.
So, play group friends, where do these ladies come in to it? Will I keep these as friends for the next 7 years? I hope I do.
Then theres J, who I’ve known around a year, we met at the doctors, as you do, just start chatting to random strangers! Twelve months later I meet her at playgroup, and I’m glad I did! I’m glad I found someone I could call a friend. There’s different ages in Z and E but not too much as they age. She’s been my rock this past year! Without her and vodka Friday’s I’m sure I’d be miserable!!
Then there’s A, who I’ve not known even a year, but, who’s been there for me this week to whinge at, I’m there for you too. ( just let me get over my pity party for one first! No room at the inn for two!)
There’s also people I’ve never met, we chat, we send pics to each other, we send gifts, they are also there.
Where I’m trying to go, or trying to say, is does it matter who you’ve known the longest? Where they are from? It’s a shame I didn’t meet J and A when I was at school, we could have had many a years more together! I know any one of my mates would be there if I called at any time during the night.
In one way I’m lucky I have a few good friends, I don’t need loads, the ones I have are just fine! Some of my friends are more like strangers now, does that make me sad? In ways I think yes, we’ve gone through so much together, so many laughs, so many memories. That’s what it’s all about, memories.
I’m sure as my journey through parenthood continues, when Z starts school, I’ll meet many new friends. It doesn’t matter what school he will go to there will be new friends, new people. It’s like a little adventure! One that’s only really starting.
I know in the next few months there will be people who I’ll meet, who will be there for Z and I, when and if we need it, and I look forward to meeting with you all.
So to the next few chapters of my life, I’m ready! But please, if you are going to be my friend can there be vodka involved and can I fetch J? I can’t leave my partner in crime out!!