Posted in autism, disease, no cure, Parenting

I’m sorry, is there a cure?

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Do I really look sick?

Iknow the lady didn’t mean it, but she’s not the first. She asked tonight how Z got on seeing the doctor, when I said, suspected autism, but I can’t see it changing, she was all apologetic. I’m guessing she isn’t going to be the first or the last. Her reply was, oh I’m sorry, is there a cure for that? Umm a cure? It’s autism not a disease! When I asked a family member to sponsor him yesterday, he said, oh I’m sorry I didn’t know there was any thing wrong, I hope he’ll be ok. What medication will he be on? Medication? I said no, no medication as he’s not sick. Should these comments annoy me? Anger me? At the moment I’m still dealing with things.

Is this because they are of the older generation? I don’t think for one second she was being rude as she is a lovely lady, and if she thought she had upset me she would be horrified.

So, to everybody, Z is Z, and without his quirky little ways like I’ve said before he wouldn’t be Z.

To me, when I look at Z I see a wonderful little boy. A very clever little boy, ( today I bought him a new jigsaw, okay, it only had 24 pieces but thought it would keep him quiet in church, 4 minutes it took him to complete it, yup, 4 minutes. ) what a waste of £5! But no I’ll keep it he loves Winnie the Pooh! I also see a loving little boy, he’s starting to give hugs and kisses. Z may not hit the milestones the same time as other children his age and some things he’s way ahead, just because he’s not talking it don’t mean he is stupid. But you don’t see that, you don’t see the way he does that 45 piece jigsaw, or put shapes in sorters, or the fine motor skills he has when putting pegs in the holes, all you see is no speech, and sometimes a screaming child, laying and kicking on the floor. For one moment stop, stop and stare if that makes you feel better, but actually take a moment to think.

I’m not telling you Z is an angel but he’s not a naughty child either. Take this evening for instance, we came home and couldn’t park outside the house, normally, I stop the car the music goes off, Z cries, ok Z kicks off, but I know in the time I get him out of the car and into the house, maybe kicking and screaming I can calm him down within two minutes, tonight it took at least 5. 5 minutes of crying and head hitting, why? Because I had to pick him up off the road and carry him up the street. If from just reading that little paragraph you take something away, when you see a child screaming and a flustered parent, it’s not always a naughty child or a parent who can’t cope.

I hope, when Z grows up that the world will be more understanding, a better place to be. I know the first step to that is me learning everything I can, and helping people close to us to see things the way Z sees things. Look at the bigger picture, maybe that rabbit in a hutch won’t keep his attention but, how the hutch stands up and how that door stays up may. I have no idea how Z will turn out, but I know I will do everything I can to make sure he turns out just fine.

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Not sick, don’t need meds just acceptance please

Author:

first time mother, first time blogger

2 thoughts on “I’m sorry, is there a cure?

  1. my grandson is 15yrs old now he was never invited to bithday party’s when he was in the local school from 5to 7yrs invites were passed out by the teacher to the whole class on one occasion, she never made a comment,when he asked if he could have one too.The local authority would not pay for him to go to a school that was for his ability because it was over the border a few miles out of county.His education was a teacher comeing to the house for 1hr, untill my daughter moved to Swansea and he was reassesed, The difference is amazing,he goes to Frome in Summerset and comes home from Fri to Mon ,we wonder what he could have been if given the oppertunity sooner,.He is doing Gcse and his photos have been accepted in a competition out of over 400 entries from schools all over the country ,he still has his moments but the school knows how to handle him.His computer was not right he bought an old computer and took parts off and it is now working . You have to fight for them and it is hard changing peoples attitude is a struggle including governments they talk OK but we have not seen any difference in the real world

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    1. That’s really sad, as most of the time children are accepting it’s the adults that are not. Things like that scare me for the future of my son, and if hes not invited would people come to his party? I’m lucky that in the past few years people seem a little more clued up, it’s sad that if the authority had paid for your grandsons education he may have been better off. I hope he does well in his gcses, I wish him all the luck in the world. Maybe fixing computers is his thing, there has to be good money in that 😉. I’ve been told that to get things people have to fight, and that’s not fair. They are still humans, just think a little differently to many of us!

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