Posted in autism, Parents

What they don’t tell you about the hard days.

I knew today was going to be hard when by ten this morning I wanted the day to be over.

Z was awake this morning I didn’t have to wake him. We’ve been walking to pick up the bus for work this week as its getting harder to get him out of the car. It’s getting harder to get him off the bus when it’s time too.

Monday is portage day, today was going through forms and making sure I knew what was happening after Friday’s meeting. I have a little bed time reading…!


Before S had came today Z was hard work, I would have loved nothing more to that to put him in the garden and leave him there! He just wanted to pull everything out, make a mess, go outside and nothing was good enough for him. If I told him no he would scream and attack me. He’s continued this mood all day.  When S left Z had another screaming fit, I went to get him a drink and he was already out the door and up the steps to the gate crying. It’s mad coz he don’t cry after anyone else, not even me!           ( wonder if she would have noticed a small child attached to the top of her car?). The swing helped calm him down and then it was nap time!

As we went to kids fit again tonight, Z went to my Nan’s for the hour I was at work. Trying to get him into kids fit was a nightmare, he screamed and he threw himself on the floor. Took him a little while to calm down and a lot of self control not to just walk right back out on my behalf! After tipping his drink all down himself me shouting and him screaming coz I wouldn’t give it back it was time to head home.

The kicking and screaming getting out of the car at home was just as bad if not worse than kids fit. Didn’t help that we have work going on so everything at the side of my garden was in the front when we arrived home, which just made Z worse.

Food, again he’s not eaten much today, fish cakes and southern coated fries, they sat at the table for an hour. He would not touch them. If I left the room he would scream. Eventually I gave in and he had toast and crackers.

It’s been hard, I’m now sitting looking at the mess he’s made by just tipping everything up and thinking where do I start. I think I’ll start by just going to bed when he goes to bed! If tonight he chooses to kick and scream and cry I may just be crying with him!

What they don’t tell you is when the day starts off hard it stays hard!! Here’s to a better day tomorrow! It can’t be as bad as today, can it?!

I’ve actually edited this as it’s now 10pm and Z is still up, think it’s safe to say the whole day has been so different it really have affected him. From not coming home after the bus this morning, to having a later nap, then not going to creche, going to bed at 8.15 but hearing them chat outside. I’m starting to question how strong I am right now, because if everyday is this hard I really don’t know how I will manage?


first time mother, first time blogger

2 thoughts on “What they don’t tell you about the hard days.

  1. Aww sweety I feel your angst. I blogged just yesterday about taking my boy to ASDA (against his wishes) and everyone just thought he was being naughty. If only they knew hey. Chin up hun – a new day tomorrow, new challenges await! Xx


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