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A lot of people hate them. Some people say young children shouldn’t be given one. I used to agree! 

After seeing Z on his I know I made the right choice in getting him his own. It’s connected to my account, he can’t buy anything, he hasn’t got access to messages or FaceTime, that’s all off. 

He has apps, puzzle ones, sorting, spelling, counting and learning the alphabet. He knows how to get you tube up, he has been able to do this from the start, if the app don’t work he goes via safari, how he learnt this I do not know! 

He can get a video up in the corner and continue watching YouTube. How?! 

If I had the chance to get him one again I would, but as wrong as it sounds I would have gotten one with data so he could use you tube outside. His iPad is his comforter he feels safe with it. I’ve spent many time asking why? I think it’s because he’s in control, he puts what he wants on. He can change things when he wants too. 

 Ok, some of the songs he listens to over and over again I get bored! There’s so many 5 things jumping in the bed! 

From his time with the iPad, he’s learnt loads, he knows what objects are and I think that’s from the flash card app he watches over and over. I’m sure he knows his numbers and alphabet, I just wish sometimes he would talk and tell me! 

So next time you see a child being giving an iPad before you tut and say far too young, think, if Z didn’t have his I wouldn’t be able to take him out for food. I don’t think I’d be able to take him swimming as he wouldn’t be able to handle the waiting on me getting changed afterwards. 

So yes, look at me and tut, look at me when he’s screaming and shake your head then mumble spoilt when out comes the iPad, I don’t care! 

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Autism, mix in toddler temper tantrums and you get a fun few days!

Why do I look forward to the school holidays? Every week I count down the next school holidays and then think on day two why! 

 Holidays equal lack of routine. Lack of routine sends Z a little wild! 

Monday, it started off ok, S portage came but to go through forms instead of play,Z was  fine with this. She left, we went to see my nan. Armed with his iPad he was ok. Went into a new shop and that was it, end of the world, meltdown plus temper, if he could have gotten out of that pram and ran he would have. Maybe after hitting everyone in his way first. Gets back to the car and calm, as if nothing had happened. 

As it was Monday took my nan shopping, I take her every other week normally Z comes too. Gets outside one shop and he really didn’t want to get out of that car. He threw himself on the floor, he kicked and screamed, he hit and he tried to bite. I actually shouted ‘Enough’ to get his attention, I’d say the attention of people in the car park but they were already looking! I carried him to the trolley like a sack of spuds! He screamed and I mean screamed. Had a few looks, a few comments to each other, so I gave him a drink, ( I open things and pay for them, if it helps I’ll try anything) whilst he was drinking nice and calm, said women mentioned spoilt. His drink was finished he kicked off again, so I opened buttons! I’d do it again to see the look on their faces. He didn’t want the buttons, but the Christmas lights caught his attention.  On the way out he saw the rainbow drops so obviously he had to have them, for a stress free shop he can! 

Back in car he was a happy little boy, rainbow drops and a drink. Next stop Asda. He was fine getting out of car and into trolley, until he tipped those rainbow drops, and because he tipped a few he had to tip the rest all whilst screaming! Out comes the buttons that were in my bag from last shop, he’s fine, until, he drops that last button and I refused to pick it up. This now I know is temper, this isn’t autism. I stopped to get cheese, he saw cheese dippers and kept using my hand, he’s going around with them, that’s fine he choose them. We passed the Pringles and that was it, he choose the blue tin, using my hand, and the rest of the shop was easy. Maybe I should keep some Pringles in my bag? 

I’d like to say a lot of this day was temper. His awareness is growing, he’s getting to the stage he knows he can hit and kick and bite and well what are we going to do about it? But, in all fairness I think it was split, going into a new shop, then a shop after another shop, maybe just proved too much. Being holidays there were a few more people about, plus my cousin, maybe that had a part to play in it as normally shopping it’s just me and nan? I don’t know, I know he was quite quiet at home and was sleeping by 7.15. He was worn out. After being sick last week and not really having much of a routine a full day could well have been too much. 


Having a quiet 5 minutes
Today, and yesterday I think he’s spent more time having a temper than being happy. 

Again his awareness is growing, he’s learning control and emotions. 

Today’s example; he wanted Pringles for breakfast, I said no, toast first. He threw himself on the floor, kicking and hitting. I wasn’t giving him Pringles! So he didn’t get them not even after toast. At diner he wanted Pringles, so again pizza first, he ate his pizza, looked at me and tipped the tin upside down. I said no Z, so in his let’s throw my self on the floor after stamping my feet in the Pringles mood, got him no Pringles! 


This was in a temper!
Today’s have been tempers, they have been let’s see how far I can push mam, if my neighbours heard him ( which I’m sure they did) they would think I was trying to kill him. Why? All because I wouldn’t let him in the kitchen when the oven was on! Again for his own safety when he’s throwing himself about, kicking and trying to hit me it’s an ‘enough’ shout that gets me away from the hitting! Yea ok I’m a whimp, I’ll put a baby gate between us! I’ve seen the mark on G’s arm from him being bit last night. Just because he’s had those teeth out it don’t hurt any less, those fangs are sharp, remind me of puppy teeth! 

As he’s throwing himself about the floor today, maybe because a duck didn’t go where it was supposed to so he flung all the other ducks then lost his temper, the postman came. Brown envelope, council stamp, eeeekkkk, a letter saying Z had been accepted for school in January. The ‘Yes’ came first ( come on my day have been screaming fits and nose wiping!) then omg what am I going to do? I’m going to loose my little guy to school. I have one term left, and after Christmas he’s a big boy. I’m going to be lost. I’m loosing my shadow temporary for a few weeks then full time. 

Teachers, good luck! After my last few days you may need it. 

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First day out. 

Z have been sick since last Saturday, he’s not been very far. Obviously he couldn’t go to Creche with a stomach bug. 

 Yesterday I went out with the girls for a few drinks. In all fairness as we were out so early we didn’t seem drunk. Think I’m worse after spending a few hours drinking vodka at J’s on a Friday. Maybe we’ll stick to that, less stress on what to wear, and way cheaper! 

So, today, as it was a nice day, 48 hours have passed without any nasty bug surprises, so we could take Z out. I didn’t want to meet the girls, didn’t want to take the chance of catching anything. Off we go to the park, G and Z with the pooches and his bike. How we got everything in the car I still do not know! 

 Was Z’s first time out on his bike, he had it for his birthday and has been sick since. 

The pooches weren’t attached to him, and yes maybe he should be wearing a helmet, but I can’t get him to keep a sun hat on, or a beanie the helmet near his head was cause for a full on screaming match in the shop. So I’ll fight that battle when I really need to. He’s a visual kid, so when he sees other people wearing a helmet I’m hoping he’ll associate it with a bike and put one on. Then again he may never be able to ride a bike. 


Not sure who was more intrested with the tree, child or pooches!
Just being free to run, feeling the wind between his fingers, and a safe space to do be able to do so and Z is just happy. We looked at the ducks and if I didn’t have his hand I’m sure he would have been in that lake! The foot was trying to go over. He also didn’t like the ducks sitting on the edge, we had to walk and frighten them back in the water. Z let out a little clap when the were safely back swimming. As if to say, oi ducks you swim you don’t sit outside the water!!

Z loves to see people on bikes. If we’re driving he’ll always notice if there’s a bike and will watch until he can’t see any more. If he sees me standing by my bike I have to sit and peddle, he get so excited and claps, jumps and screeches. Today we took him to bike park Wales for a spot of bike spotting. We have train spotters and plane spotters but Z will be a bike spotter! Driving in he noticed the bikes, if he wasn’t strapped in and he could have stood to see he would have, excited and a huge grin on his face. 

 Walks towards the bus pick up. Bikes come down the first path, he watched them coming towards us and passed us, he had to watch until he couldn’t see them anymore! Was like a kid at Christmas! We get to the top and stand on a rock, they’ll come at us from any way. Within a few seconds a big group came . I’m glad both G and I had him or he would have taken off! Between jumping and flapping and screeching! He couldn’t take his eyes off them all. On our way back to the car it was diner time, one guy had stopped for lunch, we went to walk around them and Z was trying to push his leg back on the bike! Maybe when he’s older he’ll be some sort of personal trainer as he don’t like you stopping what ever your doing! 

All in all I think he’s had a lovely day out after being stuck in all week. Maybe bike spotting will be something that may happen more often!

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The end of a long week. 

Yes it’s Friday! No it’s not vodka Friday. Only because we’re off out tomorrow. That’s if Z is better, I’m hoping he’s on the mend today as he’s looking for food! 

 Apart from Z and his bug, I’ve not managed to go to work obviously Z can’t go to Creche, I wouldn’t send him to Creche with a bug wouldn’t want the rest of the little people there catching it. So I’ve been spending lots of time at home. I never spend time at home I’m out every day. Again I’m not risking E catching it either. So he’s missed out on everything this week even a party and a photo shoot. Apart from me not taking Z anyplace J also broke her phone so she’s unreachable! I feel like I’ve lost my arm! No texts and no coffee, I’m guessing this is how boring life would have ended up if we hadn’t met J and E! 

 But never mind! I’m sure she can get the first round of shots in tomorrow to welcome me back! 

 The positives to this week are Z has a lovely clean room, with all his clothes sorted too. At least next week is half term, so we should be ok, hopefully start the week off with portage, maybe do something as a family Tuesday when G is off work. Then Wednesday I have early bird filming and well Thursday is just hectic! Poor Z has his flu spray then the dentist, at least on that evening he gets to go and play in the indoor play centre with Nas M. He will be better by then! 

Oh wow what a week I’ve had and what a week to come. 

 Last night as Z was sitting here with his IPad and blankie, he’s not let them go much this week, he’s also still kept a firm eye on Pluto, his dog he had for his birthday, it’s never too far from him, just not quite up there with the blankie and iPad. Anyway, last night he tried feeding Pluto his biscuit. I’d say this is down to S portage as she asks him to feed the doll it give the doll a drink, he’s taken notice with a real biscuit. 

When I watch Z on his iPad I wonder, lots of children with autism love the iPad, is it to do with they are controlling it? They know what’s next? Maybe that’s the start to another post ! 

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Day 5 of the bug 😷

Yup, Z has a bug, well I’m guessing it’s a bug, when it’s all sorted I want him tested for whatever they can test him for, including a wheat intolerance. I’m going with I can’t tolerate it and been told many times keep off it and on a gluten free diet. Now if this was the case for Z I’m going to struggle. There’s only certain things he’ll eat anyway, so I’m hoping he’s fine and he’s just one unlucky kid that gets a bug and instead of it lasting 12-48 hours his last days! 

I’m sure if it was the case we’ll get over it, well hopefully we will! Swapping little things over like crackers, breadsticks and bread to start. 

As he’s not been anywhere since Saturday, he did go stay with nan today for me to do the early it’s course. He’s now in bed fast asleep, I’m catching up on zoo, thinking by 9.45 I’ll be sleeping too. It’s hard work changing dirty bums all day! Never mind half term next week, can’t wait! Plus out on Saturday with the girls. That’s if Z is all better. 

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Another sick day. 

Why is Z always sick? It started Saturday when he had the runs, was up most of the night Saturday, the good side was I ordered a few Xmas gifts! He was good all yesterday other than tired. Then I heard him babble and have a little grump around 3, but as he wasn’t crying I left him. Went to wake him at 7.40 for work and poor guy had been sick and filled his nappy, both had gone everywhere. I feel so bad. He had to have a shower before I left for work. 

So today is spent cleaning his room, washing clothes drying them and putting them away. He’s happy enough to sit with his iPad and watch you tube, that’s what sick days are for yea?! You’d watch tv or films Z watches you tube. He’s very quiet and not really eaten much, half a slice of toast and he wanted crisps so crisps he’s eaten. I’m lucky he will drink water for me. Hopefully it’s a 24 hour thing and were good for tomorrow, even though he can’t go back to Creche till Wednesday as it stands. 

 When I’m waiting on my second lot of washing to finish I’m having a slice of Z’s birthday cake with a coffee! 

Yea, Z noticed the cake and decided to put his hand right through it! I get to eat this cake as mam made it with wheat free flour! Yea mam! 

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Birthday boy. 

Birthday! Fair play I think Z had a lovely day. He woke, came down stairs to see the decorations and had a huge smile on his face.

I can’t say he really opened many presents, but he had a go. Last year he didn’t even try. He seemed to have noticed everything. He particularly liked the balloons! Dad had to blow each one up, and then they were meant to be in a line on the settee, balloons don’t line very well though! 

We went down to nans for dinner. Think Z had fun, he picked his own present in the week, when he noticed what was wrapped up he couldn’t keep the excitement off his little face. He couldn’t wait to get the dog out of the box he had to have his head in there! 

At one point today I’m sure he said cake and birthday. 


Safe to say it may have been his favourite toy today! 

He’s done very well for himself, so thanks to everyone for all his birthday wishes, cards, money and gifts. 

He’s tucked up in bed, sleeping soundly, think I’ll be joining him soon. 

Happy birthday Z x 

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Birthday eve. 

As I’m sitting here watching Z pull out each duck and figure and generally make a mess, giggle and babble I can’t believe that this time three years ago he was still in my belly! 

I’m pretty sure around this time I had my sweep and was in bed feeling very sorry for myself! 

Three, where have the last three years gone. Okay I could say this last year went to hospital appointments, speech and portage, but they’ve been well worth the time! 

Three years ago after my sweep I was being induced in the evening. It’s the 16th October, I wasn’t due until the 11th November originally, it got brought forward to the 6th. 

In three short years, I can’t believe how far we’ve come. Ok, we’ve had struggles, but for now we’re doing ok, we’re getting there. We’ve seen people come and go, we’ve met some wonderful people and made some good friends.                                  His first birthday was the same as any first birthday, not a clue! His second birthday when I thought he may be more aware , was a disappointment as nope, not bothered, his presents were left for days with no intention of him opening them, not even with help, this year I think he’s going to have a go. I hope he’s going to have a go. I’m excited for him to come down in the morning and see the happy birthday banners on the walls the balloons and the few gifts I’ve gotten him. I’ve not got him much as he don’t really play with anything unless they are ducks! 

Tonight after work the girls are joining us at Pizza Hut, a little birthday meal before the big day, he’ll take his cake to Creche, and tomorrow we’ll go down to nans and spend it with the family before the rugby game starts! 


I just hope he’s going to want to get stuck into his cake as much as he did on his first birthday! After seeing him notice the minion on his cake at his party I’m hoping so! 

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Liebster Award #4

Thanks to Gemma who blogs over at for my nomination of the liebster award. 

The rules are as follows :-

 Thank the wonderful person who nominated you. 

• Display the logo for the award. 

Nominate 10 other bloggers. 

• Answer the questions that the person who nominated you has set. 

My questions are as follows. 

What is your favourite film franchise?

Well, as I don’t really watch films, think the last set I did watch we’re the twilight movies. Do they count?! 

How did you come up with your blog name?

I’m a first time mam and I live in the valleys, so I just decided to go with first time valley mam! 

Favourite breed of dog?

As I have a chihuahua I think I’ll have to go with that. Always liked a Dalmatian mind! 

If a film were to be made about your life which actor/actress would you want to play you and why?

Again another tricky one as I’m rubbish on actors and actresses ! Think I’d have to go with a high paying one just so people would watch!

Your life motto?

Never give up. If you want something bad enough you’ll get it. 
Now for my nominations.
My questions. 

1) What’s the best thing about blogging.

2) If you could be anything for 24 hours what would you be and why?

3) Your must see tv series at the moment are? 

4) If you could spend New Year’s Eve any where on Earth where would it be? 

5) One thing no one knows about you! 

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First blogger meet up. 

After chatting to strangers online for the past six months, today was the day I got to meet some of them. Kerry from very kindly organised a Christmas  meet up. We all met at chapter in Cardiff, coffee was on tap, and then in comes a lovely buffet. I’m guessing it was nice, not being allowed to eat the bread I stuck to an apple and some crisps!! 


We were greeted with a lovely set of gift bags. 

We all got to chat to the face behind the screen, it was lovely! I was really nervous about going. As my blog is so new, me doing reviews an that I was so scared, but, I’m going to sit down later and have a good look inside. Hopefully I can get away with some for Christmas pressies? Cheeky?! 

Z did like the two little Christmas figures that were in the bag though. He smiled and held them whilst watching what ever he was watching! 

 Tonight, when Z is asleep I’ve cleaned ready for portage in the morning and had a shower I can have a little look. 

 So again thanks Kerry for organising it and this time I’m actually looking forward to the next one!