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When autism is hard.

Mostly I see Z like you guys see your own children. I also get to see Z said when autism is involved. I’ve always said I treat Z the same as I would a Nuro typical child, but sometimes he does get treated differently. When I say no I mean no! 

Yesterday, he pulled a little girls hair, I said sorry to the mam, asked was she ok, luckily the mam is part of our group, I moved Z away, and when the little girl was calmer, I took Z’s hands placed them on her back and said gentle, we must be gentle. 

There must be something in the water these last few weeks, we are up with the birds signing and the cats fighting. Yup, were up silly o’clock! Think the light nights have effected him, even though I’ve gotten a black out blind for his room, he knows that it’s not dark outside, so is still refusing to go to sleep! 

Lack of sleep means less sleep, meaning early mornings and a grumpy child.  Nothing can go right for him. We get in from school at 9.15 by 9.20 this was the state on my living room. 


Why? I’m thinking it was because we didn’t go in the car, but I’m not certain. Why did he tip everything out? Because I stopped him from going out in the rain, brought him in, he threw himself on the floor and then tried kicking the door. To be honest I didn’t want to spend hours in a&e if he had kicked the glass out of the door, so I moved him into the living room, where he can throw himself on the floor, he can throw his toys and jump up and down and try and attack me, through the baby gate. 

When all he’s done is whinge, cry, and grump, try to attack me and throw things, it’s hard. More so because he’d can’t tell me why he’s doing it. I look at him and say I wish you could talk. I wish you could tell me what’s the matter.

Sometimes I wish life was simple, Z was like all the other children, but he’s not. I’ll pick the battles when I can, and having a tidy living room isn’t one I’m going to pick! Yes, I’m leaving it like that to take Z to school, it may even be like that when he gets home from school, because I don’t know if I have the energy to pick it up again, when there’s other things to be done. Things as in putting his clothes back in the drawers, tidying the mess he’s made in his room, putting the balls away and instruments in the sensory room so it’s safe for when he wants to go back in at 3.45. 

The late night early mornings are what makes it much harder I think, I know I’m actually really lucky, some people have it so much worse than I do! 

Author:

first time mother, first time blogger

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