Posted in hospital, worry

One week after 

This time last week I was still flying high so to speak. 

My recovery hasn’t been too bad. 

Z has been pretty good, my parents have been great, taking Z for me whilst G has been at work. 

I’ve been left with four scars, the top three have been fine since day two and I’d say I wouldn’t even know I’ve had surgery, they itched and bruised that’s how I knew, the bottom one by the belly button hurts. I thought it was because of the muscles, you move more using your core there fore maybe that’s why it was taking it a little bit longer. 

Wednesday evening it was very red, angry red and sore, one moment I was warm the next cold, but no temperature,  on Thursday I thought maybe it was a bit of an allergic reaction so I removed the dressing. Friday morning seemed much better, by mid day it was back to being red and angry, so a quick trip to the GP, looking at it he said it was quite possible that it was all three,  and he said I was lucky I went in, if I had left it by Sunday I would have been in Hospital on a drip. The high heart rate and infection looked like early signs of sepsis, so antibiotics. The red angry local swelling could be part of a reaction so antihistimes. He then said that even though key hole surgery is less invasive the risks are slightly higher because everyone has bacteria in the belly button and that being cut about can upset that balance and start an infection, so cream. 

I had to take at least three out of the four antibiotics last night, and use the cream twice. Today it don’t look as angry as it was last night. Still sore and stinging but much more manageable. 

I’m glad I went to see the doctor. When you read of people going to sleep one night and waking up minis limbs is scary. When my dad jokingly said last week, ‘hey you made a will?’, maybe it’s something scary that I may have to do. 

Posted in hospital

Gallbladder gone! 

Even though as far as attacks have gone I’ve been quite lucky in only having 3-4 and boy were they painfully. 

Was scheduled for surgery yesterday at the spire hospital Cardiff. 

Had to be there for 7 am so dragged my dad out of bed at 6.15. As a thank you I left him drive my car home! 

I was signed in and taking to my room. Nice clean room with tv and bathroom. I met the  anesthetist who listened to my heart. I met the surgeon who explained what he was going to do, and the nurse that looked after me. He came in and got me set up, I was lucky enough to be first. 

Just before surgery as I’m female I had to do a pregnancy test. I wasn’t even worried about that, did say that if it was positive they’d be picking me up off the floor and calling me Mary! It came back as negative obviously! 

Theatre, last time I was at one of these was for Z, I get on the bed, they put the needle in my hand and said they’d start off slow and then put a mask on, yea I didn’t make the mask part I was already sleeping! Felt a little light headed and that was it! 

Woke up and got wheeled back to my room, still a little groggy. Kept thinking was that how Z felt after waking up with his teeth? Fair play to him if it is because he just drives up! I looked at the trees blowing and thought I need sleep it feels like a when youve drunk far to much and the room spins. 

My heart rate was taking and I was put back on oxygen and left to go to sleep. I was given a lovely chicken sandwich which I was gutted I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t swallow anything, think my throat hurt more than my cuts! 

At 3 I was taken off the oxygen, helped to the toilet by the nurse who was lovely. Very helpful and friendly. 

At 5 I was allowed to go home. I had my tablets and then the nurse came back and took the needle out of my hand. He called for a porter and I got wheeled to my car. The porter was very nice too, he kept my dad company downstairs when he arrived about 5.30, as he was there about an hour he even offered him a cup of coffee, my dad said what a lovely guy he was when we left! 

So my experience of having my gallbladder out was all good, my bandages all are clean, still, which is good, no bleeding or seeping. I’m not allowed to get them wet for at least 5-7 days. No lifting anything and I have to keep my white socks on for at least two weeks! No driving for at least a week and then can see how I feel. 

A big thank you to the staff at the spire hospital.

Here’s hoping to a speedy recovery! 

Posted in autism, progress

Autism a year later.

365 days, 12 months, 1 year, that’s how long we’ve been ‘officially’ living with autism. 

What’s changed? 


Z is still the same person. 

I was lucky I didn’t have the, ‘he’ll never do x , y and z’ diagnosis, I had we can’t tell you if he’ll ever. 

I’m not going to lie it hasn’t all been a nice easy ride this last year, somethings we’ve struggled with. The lack of sleep I think being the main one. The stress of not eating proper food maybe another. The lack of communication is again a biggie. The when he’s sick it’s process of illumination due to communication difficulty. Maybe a big one or more so for me is seeing all the other toddlers become children and Z still being at that toddler stage. 

But, I’ve watched Z grow tremendously this past year. I’ve watched his understanding get better, I’ve watched him try and get his point across, for example this week when wanting a drink took me by the hand and took me to the fridge. I’ve watched him become more vocal with the odd word, ‘George’ being a main one, I’ve also witnessed the bond between George the pooch and Z grow. They are becoming quite the mischievous pair! 

Yesterday, Z took off his dirty nappy in the bathroom, ( proud!) then decided to play in it. George tried to hide all evidence by cleaning him. When I said to Z oh what have you done, I was answered with George. No it wasn’t George. It’s safe to say everyone had a shower, poor pooch included! 

I know he knows his letters and numbers he also knows his colours, it’s just working out how to find these things out! 

I’ve watched him try and feed the Guineas and chat away to them, I’ve watched him try and pull pooches tail. I’ve watched him give kisses to his baby cousin and attack others and  I’ve watched him insist baby’s have dummy’s. I’ve watched him become confident around people he knows and shy around people he’s not met. I’ve watched him taking the world around him in and I’ve watched him struggle when that world is just too big for him. 

So here’s to the next year, the next 12 months, the next 365 days. With full time school helping I can’t wait to see how far we will go! 

Posted in autism

Days don’t always go to plan.

We didnt really have plans as such today, was sort of going to meet the girls at a local fun day, then plan from there.  We had been given tickets yesterday to enjoy three things there free of charge, so the idea was be there at opening when it was quiet as it does get busy. 

Mistake number one, walking Z, mistake number two forgetting Z’s drink, mistake number three thinking I could do it all nice and calm with an injured aching foot. ( had to chase Z yesterday up the beach barefoot which made it ache way more than it had been doing!) 

The first time I’ve given up and walked away. I’m guessing now I’ve done it once I’m either going to give up completely or think it’s ok to give up. 

It was a disaster from the start. Whilst the lady is trying to form fill Z didn’t want to wait, then he didn’t want to leave the room where he was lining beads up. Get to the inflatable obstacle course and he didn’t want to do what ever he wanted to do two seconds previously. Right, shoes on bouncy castle next. 

Now the castle was in his school yard, last time he was here he was going to school. So another fail on my part. As he’s trying to run on the wet grass, he refuses to put shoes on without socks, so had to put wet socks on as by this point my patience was at an all time low. You really can’t run on tip toes, or whilst limping. 

Tried to see the birds and do painting or anything and all he done was throw himself on the floor. How I didn’t walk away and leave him I don’t know. Maybe because deep down I knew he was possibly struggling way more than I was, even though it still wasn’t very busy. 

It’s in that moment when you know you can’t keep him out as he obviously don’t want to be there. He didn’t understand that if we kept walking I could have bought him a drink. There’s only so much picking a small person up off the floor you can do whilst trying to keep it together, the tears wanted to escape, not sure if it was the pain in my foot making it one hundred times worse. I couldn’t have put him on my back because of my foot, I wouldn’t have wanted to fall and hurt him. 

When your leaving then see the health visitor  and that one sentence, ‘hey, how are you?’ You know is going to be the icing on the cake, and if you stay and try to chat, it’s not going to end well, so try to answer whilst picking small child up from the floor for the millionth time that it’s ok, you can’t stop as this is his reaction and you’ve hurt your foot so your leaving. 

I’ve never been so relieved to see the car! The shiny turquoise thing that you know you can get your sanity back, the place you can sit, give Z his drink, and say your never trying this again, ever!                When it sinks in that it don’t matter how much you try to fit in with the girls your never going to.                                              That is reality, yes, I’ve known that day was going to come, but so soon?!

For the rest of the day I’m doing nothing, nothing at all. I may venture out to get a bandage to strap my foot and see if that helps. I can’t even eat lots of chocolate to make up for the fact I’m feeling very sorry for myself! 

Z makes it all better when he just comes on over gives the most beautiful smile, reaches over to give a kiss as if to say everything is ok mam! 

Plus actually eating a sausage roll! 

Posted in School holidays


Oh my, August, five weeks today and Z starts school.

We’ve not really managed to go far in the week G has been off, all it’s done is rain, and it’s pointless taking Z to a soft play that’s going to be packed as that’s not going to end well! 

Today Z had a hearing test, another one. There were some sounds he didn’t even react to, now is this an autism thing that he didn’t want to look towards the sound, or he didn’t hear it. He’ll need another one, it’s something they’ll keep and eye on alongside ENT.

Tomorrow we’ll go to soft play, haven’t been for a few weeks so it will be nice for Z to run about with E. 

There’s four months left of 2016, I can look back to my posts from January where there’s lists of I want to achieve this year. So far the weight loss is no where near my goal! Well when the doctors can’t work out why I’m not loosing weight when I’m eating the correct food. Maybe it’s the gallbladder. It’s being taken out in two weeks. I’ll spend the last two weeks out of action. I just hope it’s nice weather so Z can go play in the garden.  Then after ending up in a & e a few weeks ago after having an allergic reaction, it could well be milk. I’ve been advised to keep off all milk, waiting on blood results. I’m just glad the docs are finally taking me seriously. 

Looking back this year lots have happend, good and bad! 

I’m hoping that when Z is in school I maybe able to start taking the pooch for a walk in the morning, or even go swimming. I know I have at least four years of cleaning to do! I’ll be able to clean a room and it’ll stay tidy for longer than ten minutes! Then when he gets in from school it will be back in the same state, but I’ve tried!!