Posted in autism

How do I know 

Everyone is roughly three weeks into the start of the new school term. For some these three weeks have been hard adjusting to a new routine, for Z he’s just gotten into it. He’s embracing it, loving it.

How do I know he’s loving it when he can’t actually tell me? I can see it on his face.

 That smile that lights up his little face, the one when I know he’s enjoying something, or when he’s not seen me in a  while, the huge grin when he sees me waiting at the bus for him after school. That smile isn’t just for me, that smile is also for his Lsa’s, I’m guessing that’s the same smile he has when he sees his teacher too. 

The excitement of trying to get off the bus when we get to school, when he knows where he is, and he does a little jump and a flap of his hands. Looks at his Lsa and smiles. I know he’s enjoying school, I know he feels safe. If he didn’t enjoy it or feel safe I’m sure he’d protest at not going. I’d fight with him to get dressed in the morning, I’d fight getting him off the bus, but he don’t fight, he can’t wait to get in. 

When his lsa says, ‘He didn’t want to come out of school today!’, and ‘Bye Z’, when he’s on the bus, that sneaky little smile that says thanks for looking after me today! I know he’s had a good day, I know he’s happy. 

I’m thankful the staff must be doing a good job, they must be looking after him well, when you see posts about non verbal children being tied to chairs it’s a worry when they can’t tell you what they’ve done at school that day. You trust someone to look after your little bundle of joy for six hours. 

I know I’m possibly one of the lucky ones. I’ve not had to carry him in kicking and screaming, not had to walk away listening to him cry. That all helps me know I made the right choice in what school I sent him too. When I seen a video of a nursery class sitting down there must have been 30 children, that would have been torture for Z. With no space on the carpet to move, like a sardine in a tin he wouldn’t have coped! I don’t think I would have seen that smile every day. I don’t think he would have been running into school. 

Don’t you get jealous of the relationship between the lsa and your child? 

No! Well ok maybe a little, but I know if he has a good relationship, that lsa must be nice to him, he’s not going to smile like that at someone who’s not. He’s just not going to bother. I’ve taken him enough places with other people to know that he don’t just trust people instantly it takes time, and not just a few weeks but a few months. Sometimes months later he still don’t bother with some people. He knows people, he knows how to judge people, who to like! We could all take a leaf out of his book! 

Author:

first time mother, first time blogger

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