Posted in New year

A look back at 2016


12 months,  365 days,  a year. 

It’s gone so quickly.

As a year depending on who you speak to it  could  have been a rubbish year, or it could have been a great year. Ok, so there’s been lots of celebrity deaths, but as a family we only said goodbye to my uncle this year, the same time as we welcomed my first niece into the world and a few of my mates have had babies too. 

In regards to Z, we come a long way. I know he can read words even if he can’t speak them. He loves school, from doing seven months part time to full time in September. He’s grown so much, his understanding has come on loads. 

As a person I’ve had my gallbladder removed and slowly starting to loose the weight I’ve been trying all year to loose. I’ve met the local bloggers a few times which has been great. I joined a local nordic walking group and enjoy walking in the dark cold nights! 

I’ve helped my cousin start her own section on my blog, I hope she’s learning something and is enjoying herself! 

This year we’ve also witnessed one of my best mates get married, we’ve been to our first ball, we’ve tried ice skating, we’ve visited caves,  we’ve laughed, we’ve cried. I know we’ve done loads. 

What’s for 2017 ? 

In all truth most probably nothing different to 2016. I’d love if Z would start using his words or his letters to start communicating, if he could really click with toilet training. 

We need to make more of an effort to make play dates with J and E since my operation and Z being at full time school we’ve not kept in touch as much as we should have. When E saw Z this week and I said it was time to go, her reply please don’t take Z away he’s my best friend. So once a week we have to meet up, we have to go places.

I’ve said I’d like to try and do more fun things with G, maybe bowling or the cinema. 

We need to go on holidays as a family need to stop being scared of how Z will react and just go for it. 

Who knows what 2017 will bring, no body will ever expect anything that it does. It’s a new year I could say a new me, but it’s not going to happen! 

Hope everyone’s 2016 was ok, if it wasn’t here’s to 2017! Tonight I’ll be playing monopoly with a vodka or two. 

Happy New Year! 

Posted in autism, christmas

Separation anxiety or a good memory 

The holidays are nearly over, it’s Friday it means today is the last day right?! 

We have a party to attend at 10.30 then nothing planned. 

As I’m sitting here thinking of back  to normal Tuesday and school, it got me thinking . When I say Z loves school and when we’re on holidays he’s a nightmare with sleep, I’ve wondered this time if it’s separation anxiety, we can’t leave the room and he’s following us. But it’s just dawned on me what if it’s not us he misses but his teachers. He spends most of his days with them, then he don’t see them, can he comprehend that it’s only two weeks, what if he’s worried that he don’t go back there, last Christmas he left crèche and started school, I have no idea what he can remember. I know he can remember things, like when we visited my sister he was two when we went back the year later he knew which steps to her flat, I didn’t. I’ve seen a a blog post of a little boy who uses Google street maps, this is what got me thinking. I wonder if he’s pulled his allnighter Wednesday night and crying more this holidays because of what happened last year? Does he think that he’s not going back to school the place he obviously loves ? It wouldn’t surprise me if that was the case. It would be very impressive if it was! 

Maybe I’m overlooking things and it really is as simple as out of routine and too much Christmas stimulation too much sensory overload, or even Olaf on his bedding. 

Anyway here’s to Tuesday and 2017 

Posted in Life


It’s nearly the end of 2016, weight wise I’m not where I wanted to be, but since having my gallbladder removed I’m down around 10lb, this has given me the push I need. I know I’m smaller than last year as my Christmas pjs fit me and are not snug! I was chuffed, next year they will be too big! 

So my goal for 2017 is get fitter. I recently done a nordic walking 5k it took me just over an hour. So, I’m attempting something each month. Ive signed up for the friend in me walk, again 5k for January this will be me and the pooch, I’ll start walking it and timing the walk for the end of January. I think we’ll be doing another in march. So I need to set my own goal for February. I’m hoping by that time I’ll be back in the pool too. 

As with my weight loss I’m not setting stupid goals, nice simple goals I know I can achieve. I know I can walk 5k so I’ll build up to 10k for June. 

Another goal is for funnily enough watching tv. I need to start watching films and tv series. This I’ll combine with spending more time with the other half. He always whinges I don’t watch anything. Then I’m going to try and get out more. When Z is at my mams, will use it to try things like bowling, and the cinema. 

Liquid, I’m going to drink more. Water, ice tea, or anything other than fizzy drinks. 

Photos, I enjoy taking photos, so I’m going to join in with the photo a week challenge, and stick to it! 

I’ll update my goals as I go, for now they are easy, once I get used to drinking more I’ll add another bottle, when I can walk 5k easy, I’ll up my speed, when I can swim x amount of lengths I’ll add more or do quicker. 

What’s everyone else’s goals for 2017? 

Posted in Uncategorized

Christmas Eve.

I’m seeing lots of posts on social media of lots of excited little children, food left out for santa and big piles of gifts. Parents who are tipsy and trying to get stuff sorted. Me, I’m already laying in bed! I wasn’t risking waking Z at 9 when he went to sleep, so I took it all down and left him with dad in the spare room. I’m glad I did as there’s no way to be quiet with a drum kit! 

This year I promised myself I wasn’t doing it, I was getting a few odds and ends and that would be it. I did panic when I only had six gifts wrapped but I didn’t head out shopping. 

I don’t want to over stimulate Z, I want tomorrow to go as smoothly as it can go. Last night he woke crying a few times I’m hoping tonight will be better. I’ve put his stocking on his bed, he may not even notice it when he gets up. 

The first thing he’ll see are his drums, they are not wrapped. 

Do I feel guilty for not getting him lots, in some ways I do, in other ways I don’t. I’ve not wasted money on stuff he will show no interest in. At least now when he gets stuff all year I can justify it to myself! It’s Christmas everyday! Plus I don’t owe a single penny on my credit card which I’m really proud of! 

Am I sad that he went to bed not excited like all the other four year olds, yes, but this year he’s taken more notice than last and next year I think he’ll understand a little more too, he’ll remeber this year as he’s taken more notice of it. I hope. 

I know he’ll have plenty, he’ll have gifts when we head to my parents and his routine is to open them after diner, this spaces it out and it not too much for him when he walks in to the living room. 

He’ll have his dinner of cheese spread sandwiches,  microchips,  jelly, yoghurt, crisps and he’ll be happy, I hope he’ll sit at the table with us, the reality he’ll be on the floor spelling or with his iPad. 

When you have children you think by four  it will be all full of fun, you don’t think of hype effecting them. I know I’m lucky we can keep a tree. Tonight before bed it was time to open one present. He done it, and he done it with a smile. For the last three days I’ve been encouraging him to open one to unwrap, we’ve managed one other! 

I hope everyone isn’t too busy at 10.30 on Christmas Eve, or too drunk, I’m off to bed! 
Goodnight and merrry Christmas 

Posted in christmas

The Christmas Tag

I was tagged by Sally from Teddy bears and cardigans  to answer some Christmas related questions for ‘The Christmas Tag’, so here we go… 


As most people know I don’t ‘do’ movies. I’m rubbish and as there’s so many I’ve not actually seen I don’t think I have a ‘favourite’, I don’t watch a film every Christmas. 


Yes! When I worked as a children’s rep, I was so excited to go skiing or snowboarding on Christmas Day in the snow! For four years in a row we had a white Christmas, blue skies at some point and the sun. 

The last white Christmas I can remember here was 2012, before that 2010. I think snow on the ground makes Christmas much more magical.


At home, with Christmas Day spent at my parents, was always a visit to my nans Christmas morning then a quick trip to the MIL and then home. Boxing Day is spent maybe sale shopping and then back to my parents.

Think it has to be Stay Another Day by E17.   


Of course! Who don’t?                                  Was a tradition when I was younger and was allowed to open one from under the tee after Christmas Eve mass. It was officially Christmas Day, and these were off the family not santa. 

Haha no!                                                  Prancer, Dancer, Blitzen, Coment, know the ninth was Rudolph, do I get bonus points? 

We’ve not actually started any traditions with Z, I think this year he knows something is happening and I’m hoping he’ll attempt to open at least one present! It’ll take us a few days to open everything and I’m guessing for the next few years that could become our traditions. Either that or each year in the sale before Christmas I buy a new reindeer light, I’m on my third! 
I have a fake one in the house but my real one in the garden. 

Sprouts! Ok, I’ll eat those all year so ummmm, it’ll have to be the Christmas dinner, with lots of sprouts obviously! 

I like to give gifts, I know I’m hard work to buy for! 


Oh, umm, that’s a hard one, to be honest I’m not really sure.

Sweden, Norway or Iceland. The snow, the chance of seeing the northern lights, and quiet! 

Depends on what mood I’m in. Sometimes I like to make an effort, then others things just get wrapped! 


When we were younger we would go to my nans house for Christmas diner, me and my sister were young, we had a game called bug out, and you had to hit the bug into a net, but we’d been having sips of my grampas baileys and creme de menth. My sister couldn’t stop laughing and missing the bug, think that was one of the first times she may have been tipsy! 
My mother told me! 

The idea of Christmas is exciting, butin truth it has potential to be a nightmare! The change of routine for Z, the sensory overload could cause for meltdowns. We’ll take the holidays over a few days, there’ll be presents opened over a few days and nothing will be rushed! 

Hope you enjoyed The Christmas Tag! Feel free to join in if you have the time. 

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! 

Posted in christmas


There’s no getting away from it, is everywhere. Obviously as it’s five days away.

I’m lucky Z isn’t bothered by the tree being up or the lights. He’s gone to have a look a few times but not really bothered. Is this because he’s generally uninterested, he really couldn’t care less about the tree or he remembers it comes out know and again every year! 

I know Christmas Day it self will be quite overwhelming for him, that’s why he’ll get a few gifts off my parents for Christmas Eve, open his on Christmas Day, then my parents after diner Christmas Day, and maybe even some on Boxing Day. Diner will consist of his cheese spread sandwiches, jelly, yoghurt, crisps, biscuits and if I’m lucky he’ll eat an apple or some raisins for me. If I’m really lucky he’ll sit at the table and eat it with the rest of us, in reality he’ll be on the settee watching his iPad with some micro chips! 

I think this is a little hard as a parent, no child to be excited that the big guy in red is coming, no child to understand the elf on the self, but there’s others who really struggle, even with the small things of a tree. 

At least after Christmas we’ll bring in the new year and we’re back to school, near enough straight away. The same week! 

Not sure where or what we’ll do these next few days, shopping again as Z has gone through my tubs of Christmas chocolate! He found them the beginning of December and has slowly made his way through, with the help of Dad! 

Posted in autism, busy month

Busy week!

Last week of the school term, the first term has flown! 

Sunday we went to the nas M Christmas party, took Z a while to settle and done really well when everyone ate their food. He even sat on the chair and looked at santa! 

This week Z had his first Christmas concert, he was a Christmas tree decoration. I didn’t know what to expect from the concert, lots of children don’t speak. The concert was great! Both the teachers and children worked really hard. The concert was two days, think he had more of a quiet day yesterday before his class Christmas party today.

Tomorrow is his peads appointment, not really sure for what. Then another school Christmas disco. 
I still can’t believe how quickly this year has gone, this time last year I was nervous as he was starting school! 

Posted in A's view of the world, A's view of the world, Uncategorized

My December photo challenge. 

Blog – 7 December 2016
For this week’s blog I decided to write about Mother and Toddler group and my challenge for December.

 In Mother and Toddler group my cousin and I decided to do mistletoes with the children. We drew around our feet and then we painted them green. After that we drew ribbons on top of our feet so the parents could have a nice keepsake. We had so much fun making the mistletoes and for next week we are making melted snowmen as Jo suggested.  
For the December challenge I took a picture of my advent calendar (next to my pretty pink Christmas tree that I have had since I was 3 years old).  
For day 2 I did my Christmas list on a drawing of a Christmas tree and then I went to town to give it to Santa and I found him at Merthyr Sound and Lighting.
On day 3 I dressed Andrex (my dog) up in a Christmas hat, red cape and his Santa boots. Hey presto he was Santa Paws!
On day 4 I took a photo of The Red House in Merthyr Tydfil. It looked very pretty and sparkly with the Christmas lights.  
On day 5 I took a picture of my uncle’s cat Simmo at 3pm. He may be a lazy cat but he is a “live wire”.
On day 6 I took a picture of a hot chocolate with marshmallows, icing, small marshmallows, whipped cream, sprinkles, chocolate chips white and brown, flake and four straws made for sharing. I shared it with my mam, dad and sister.
On day 7 I took a picture of todays temperature 

To see these pictures I’ve joined Instagram  where you can see them all. 

Posted in autism, Toilet training

Day 13 

Thirteen, thirsteen days of toilet training Z. There’s days I think yes we’ve got this, then there’s days like today I want to say, forget it, pull ups come delivered! 

Yesterday was his first day to try the toilet in school, so in he went with five spare pair of pants and bottoms, I forgot socks! He came home having used three. Three accidents I was ok with that after the night before and three accidents in an hour. Last night we done ok, 4-7.30 great. He even poohed on the toilet, then finished the last bit on the floor and stood in it. Yuck. 

Today. Day thirteen, they say thirteen is unlucky right ? Four accidents in school, so one more than yesterday. I don’t think school actually believe me when I’m saying he’s going dry for longer at home. 

Home at four, small little wee to start, then nothing. He did go into the bathroom to pooh, got him on the toilet to finish so I think he knows what he’s doing, knows where to go, maybe pushing limits as to where he can get away with it in the bathroom? From 4-8 one wee on the toilet, one. We’ve had one small one on the carpet and he quickly stopped when I shouted wee on the toilet. 

The last four hours he’s taken all my energy, all my patience and what ever else he can take from me! It’s one of those nights, I can sense it. 

Bed time just isn’t happening, he’s gone past the point of being tired, to pulling mattresses off the bed, and jumping on the wooden slats. He’s wound. Way to wound dangerously wound. I hate him this wound I always worry for his safety. 

Maybe it’s the Christmas lights! Do the Christmas lights have that much of a reaction, I’m blaming the Christmas lights and not my actual parenting today! 

Posted in school

Smelling of another woman and why I’m ok with it. 

When we got home after the school run today and Z came and gave me a huge cwtch all I could smell on his little head  was perfume. 

I was ok with this. At least I know he’s being looked after. He’s getting lots of cwtches, this could be because he wanted them or even because he was upset. 

At least he’s not being left crying if that was the reason! I’m glad he feels safe enough with other people, it could have been a mixture of all the women teachers who knows ! 

I’d much rather that than knowing he’s being left alone. He’s getting his sensory pressure throughout the day which is great if he’s getting it from being hugged tightly or even tickled he happy. He’ll happily walk into school with any one and not give me a second glance, I’d rather him be this way and feel secure enough than to be peeling him off me kicking and screaming. The other day as I was waiting to go into school he past me, walking along with his teacher he didn’t even see me, or if he did he pretended not to incase I took him home. Part of me thinks I should have been upset, maybe that tiny bit of me was, but I was happy he was happy enough to not even think I’d be there if that makes sense.

As the saying goes as long as the children are happy the parents are too, this is right for me.