Posted in Death, friends

When time runs out.

Social media. It good for keeping in touch but also crap for stopping and talking, for meeting up and catching up.

Time hop, it’s great for reminding of those baby pictures or those drunken nights out. Not so good for showing dead people and those memories that goes with it. 

When you get a call to say someone has died, normally it’s  oh how sad, how did it happen? And that’s it, you go on with your day not thinking about said person again. 

This time it’s different and I can’t even begin to explain why. 

It’s not as if it was a best mate, not someone I worked with not someone I socialised with, not someone I spoke to every week, or month so why is this one any different to other people who have died that I have known? 

Ok, for over a year I sat at least once maybe twice a week with this person for 2 hours or so at a time so 4 hours a week. Again, that’s hardly anything. But during this time we chatted more importantly during these times we laughed she had the most loudest infectious laugh! We as the adults had playdough competitions, drank coffee and talked of Christmas nights out.

September came and Z was struggling so I went each week until half term when I couldn’t see Z struggle any longer. Before then there were just a small number of us, She spoilt Z, she opened more playdough and put them on her fingers to sing finger family, she let him have the pen tops, she bought him numbers so he felt at home, she let him play downstairs, she done everything she could to make Z’s time there happy. She included him in trips and often sent a message. 

Where am I going with this? In all honesty I don’t know. I do know it’s knocked me for six. I could say it’s her age? She wasn’t that much older than I? It could be the fact that I’m getting older and I’m worried for Z If anything happens? 

What I really think it is is that could have been any number of my mates. Mates who I don’t speak to for months, not because anything has gone wrong but because we don’t have time any more. No one makes time for anyone. Often at 3am I think to myself, oh, I’ve not seen X, Y and Z for ages, I must txt them see how they are. A txt? What happened to the phone calls? The let’s meet up for a coffee or even town for a drink? 

Then time hop pops a picture up, one that you want to reshare and tag that person in again, with the caption, ‘remember this?! ‘ then you have a small conversation saying oh we have to meet up, that meet up never happens. 

Then that chance is gone. Taken away from you. Something you can never get back.

Next week friends who I’ve not seen for ages will get a call off me I’m going to go out on the last day of term. There won’t be a  this group or that group it will be one big group of friends. Never know I may even turn up at houses for a coffee.

If you take anything away from this post please ring a friend you’ve not spoken to in a while, arrange a catch up and go and have a laugh as you never know what’s around the corner. 
R.I.P T 

Author:

first time mother, first time blogger

6 thoughts on “When time runs out.

  1. A lovely tribute, and an important message. I tried to explain to R today, as she went to the preschool for a year too, but I’m not sure she really understood or remembered properly. She will be deeply missed by many many people. Love to you all. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

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