Posted in autism

Today you’ve struggled. 

Today has been hard. 

Today you’ve struggled. 

The holidays have finally gotten to you, week one you were good, week two you were good, week three you attacked three children. Week four you attacked one child and it all got too much. 

The lack of school, the change in routine, no school and for two weeks dad was home. Then dad goes to work he comes home and little by little we’ve changed upstairs. The spare room was changed about, you accepted it. Your room was changed you cried, you cried some more when you seen our room go the same as yours. You attempted to cover each roomin toys, tsum tsums, books, numbers, letters and toot toot cars. We’ve shouted at you, how many times we’ve picked everything up you’ve tipped them out once more in a different room. 

Last night you didn’t sleep very well, this morning you wasn’t happy waking up. We stopped you tipping the numbers and letters down the stairs before the electrician came. Instead you threw them and spread them everywhere. I shouted. You screamed, dad shouted. You were carried to the car kicking and screaming. 

This was all before 8am. 

Today everything finally got to you. 

I got you out, away from the noise, you enjoyed chips and nachos and came home a happier person. I knew something wasn’t right, I was waiting. You had the giggles, you were being silly. 

Those toot toots wouldn’t line up. You were getting angry, so off they went upstairs one by one iPad in hand. But no electric upstairs means no internet. You didn’t know that. So all these small little things broke you. 

I put pjs on you. I could say that was the start, but I know being on week four was the start. 

You tried getting out the front door, locked, you ran to the back locked, you climbed the washing machine tried pulling off the microwave, I shouted for your safety. You tried attacking the floor, had the toaster, attempted the front door again. I grabbed you kicking and screaming up the stairs. I needed the bed, I needed you safe not to hurt yourself. You grabbed everything, you kicked everything, how I didn’t drop you I don’t know. You dragged your bed away from the wall, you knocked over drawers, you kicked, you screamed and you came out with many random words, words that have meaning to you when you’re singing tonight they were all jumbled. I lay you down as safe as I could for ten minutes. It felt much longer for me I can’t imagine how long it felt for you. Your little body kicking, hitting, squirming. 

I persevered and tickled your arms, your back and wiped away tears. Some my own. 

I got your iPad you were too exhausted to do anything. 

An hour later I’m surprised you were still awake you came down you took crisps and went back to bed, iPad in hand. Not long after you are sleeping, snoring away with not a care in the world. 


Today you struggled. 

Tomorrow is a new day, it’s going to be hard, it’s going to be the same as today. This is the new routine for a few weeks. You’ll be fine. Well get through it! 

Author:

first time mother, first time blogger

5 thoughts on “Today you’ve struggled. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s