Posted in autism

Sorry for what?

When you tell people your son has autism mostly the response is ‘oh I’m sorry’.

Sorry for what?

Ok it’s not what I signed up for when I decided to have a child. I didn’t think I’d be changing nappies at 5, not having a conversation with him at 5, not taken him away on holidays, joining in so many activities that children of his age can do,swimming lessons even standing around a freezing cold field watching kids chase a ball.

But he’s my son and autism is part of him. It’s life.

People may see the screaming child in a shop when things get too much, they may hear me continuously saying ‘good boy’, ‘you’re doing well’ as we do our food shop, may hear me tell him what we need to get next. They may see him not wanting to go in a shop, not attempt to play with other children. They may see him as the strange kid. Know what I’m used to that I’m over it, of course when that ‘I’m sorry’, comes I want to get defensive and ask why are they sorry.

Because what people don’t get to see.

The clever, funny, fun loving little guy.

The smile he gives after he’s done a jigsaw on his own after many many times of trying and failing, of giving up because he’s not got the ability to sit there for any longer. That smile to say look Mam I done it, the look of proudness when I say ‘yeah’, on his little face.

The milestones he’s hit to be where he is now. To be able to walk in to a shop for a few things is something going back last year I wouldn’t have attempted for all the money in the world! Now we can walk around Asda getting pizza crisps and bread for pack lunch! Ok he hates waiting in the line to pay but it’s all coming along.

What people don’t see is how far he’s come to be able to do these things, when he repeats a new word, when he follows a very basic simple command that your average aged toddler can do, or when he looks directly at you and smiles for however brief it’ll be. His infectious giggle, or his belly laugh when he’s babbling away to himself in the mirror.

No one gets to see the challenges he faces every day, but he does and he does them with a smile on his face. He can’t tell me if he’s feeling unwell and doesn’t want to go to school so he goes.

I’m sorry, so for what?

His life?

Our life?

My life?

We know no different. This is all we know.

We’re used to trying to work out what’s up or what he wants. We’re used to the smell of poo and possibly even used to the no sleep.

I’d be lying if I said it’s easy, but isn’t being a parent hard enough?

I’m not sorry for Z, ok some days I hate autism, I hate what it’s taken away from us as a family, but I love what it’s given us, because as I’ve said before without autism Z wouldn’t be who he is. He wouldn’t be that fun, loving, cheeky clever kid that he is.

Posted in additional needs, Review

KayCey Bodysuit Review

Was very excited to be asked to review the short sleeve kaycey body suit for Z, from special kids . Company I choose the navy colour and I love it!

It’s soft and stayed soft after washing and didn’t loose any shape.

I love the fact it has one purple popper for the middle, how many times do you make mistakes buttoning up 3 poppers never mind 5!

When I put it on Z, he was running around and laughing, it was like being in shorts and a tshirt all in one.

He loves to take off his bottoms and sit on the floor I worry that the tops of his legs get cold with this body suit I didn’t worry as it kept the top of his legs nice and warm.

What he also likes to do disgustingly is rip off the outer layer of his pull up and eat it, wearing this body suit he couldn’t access his nappy to pick away at it!

The big one for us was to see how Z would manage wearing it for sports, would it roll up and be uncomfortable when he was running climbing and jumping? Would he get annoyed if it did curl up under bottoms?

No problems! He ran and climbed and jumped and was completely fine.

He loves climbing, it must be less restricted than the three popper ones, so I’m thinking do the three popper ones actually pull the nappy up? Where as this one just supports it.

When he wears it he’s smiling so it must be comfortable.

I can see that this is going to be quite handy in the summer, for those random stops at the beach, it’s just going to be like shorts and t-shirt and no one from looking at it will think it’s a specialist vest and that that happy child will have a swim nappy on underneath! Or when we’ve planned the beach, this will be great to just drive on home in. It’s during the summer when he got easy access to his nappy is when he eats away at it.

I’ve already recommended one to my mate for her little boy who loves to smear, there’s no way he’s getting to his nappy through this!

Posted in Review

New Jersey Nights

When I was asked if I’d like to review * this show, of course I said yes, I’m starting to really enjoy the theatre, the child free time, and each time I take someone new so it’s a good to spend time with people I wouldn’t normally.

In work when we had chatted about this my new adoptive nan was enthusiastic about it so I took her along with me and took her back to 16 years of age apparently! She was saying about the songs that the original group sang, I was like nope, duno them!

As my regular readers will know, every time I’ve seen a show I’ve had no idea what it’s been about and this show was no different. I had no expectations, which I love as I’m never disappointed!

We arrived and the stage was set up with a net curtain covering it so all you could really see was lights, my first thought was that would look lush in Z’s sensory room! When the show started Joshua Denver, William Hazel, Duncan Heather and Ricky Rojas were heard singing and the curtain was lifted, there the band was playing at the back, the singers and dancers dancing in front of a bar.

What I couldn’t help but notice and it continued throughout the show was they were all colour co-ordinated. So the dancers, in the opening scene the ladies had red shoes, then each one had a different coloured dress, grey, white and black. These were then matched to their partners it was quite clever! They also matched the props, with the red table and black bar, with red and black steps leading to the stage. When they had a change of clothes, the lights in the curtains changed to match those colours too.

The show along with singing some classic hits it told the tale of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons and they sang some hits from other artists in that era.

We started with them singing oh what a night, in a bar as we learnt more about them they moved on to the studio, each taking a turn to be narrator telling the story of his life.

I didn’t know all the songs they sang but that really didn’t stop my hands from tapping along, or my foot going to the beat, it was something you kind of had to do! Well apart from the two sitting beside me that didn’t move! They didn’t so much as smile never mind clap.

I’ve not seen the audience engage so much before at the theatre, and when they messed up a little at the start of blue moon, it was just funny, think everyone in the audience laughed and joined in. ( Well apart from my neighbours !)

At the end of the show I don’t think there was a single person still seated, everyone had hands in the air clapping along swaying to the music, it really was more like being at a concert than the theatre!

I really would recommend it, even if like me you don’t know who they are! You will know some songs,’Big Girls Don’t cry, Why Do Fools Fall In Love and My Girl Just being a few.

New Jersey Nights is on at New Theatre Cardiff 23rd – 27th January 2018, prices start from £13 and you can get tickets here

* I was gifted my tickets in exchange of a review all opinions are my own.

Posted in Life

Loosing teeth.

Z had lots of teeth removed so always been a little gummy! He had five removed first from a knock when he was one, then two more removed due to trauma.

A few weeks ago he lost his first tooth, yup lost I have no idea where it is, did he eat it, spit it out or just swallow with food! And of course he can’t tell me! That time I laughed there’ll be a few more.

Last week was another wobbly tooth, this said tooth I’ve been keeping an eye on, wobbling like a small excited child, today he came home from school minus his wobbly tooth 😔. Now the laughing has gone, will there actually be any?

Yup for some reason this kinda made me sad. Maybe it’s the realisation that we’ll never have the excitement of the tooth fairy, I’ll never have a few teeth that I’ve collected that should go in those little trinket boxes with first tooth and first curl.

When you’re going good there’s always that one part that’ll knock you down, that’ll make you remember there’s so much that you’re missing out on that other parents take for granted. The things Z can’t do, even though he’s growing, his body tells me he’s getting older he’s getting taller he’s loosing teeth, but he’s still my baby.

Of course you look at the progress he’s making, and he’s making tremendous progress with his speech. It still doesn’t help that these things like so others I’ll never get a chance to share with Z, not written letters off the tooth fairy for a lost tooth at school, no hunting around for £1 no excited child wanting to spend his tooth fairy money just Z who either doesn’t know he’s even lost a tooth or who doesn’t care.

Posted in Adventures

A Sunday morning two mile trek!

When you say to your mates fancy getting out for an hour and we head to Garwnant park. The kids run around or get pushed on the swings, but in reality us adults are freezing. It was like two degrees! We love Garwnant, other than the space to run they even have a changing places toilet which is just fab!

So we grab the gloves and a drink from the car and start walking. What started as a little let’s have a look ended up on a two mile walk.

In all fairness we done it. How I’m still wondering that!

It’s hard enough with a four five and six year old without any challenges add to the mix of that two children with autism and one with a fear of dogs! Oh and we seen some dogs.

We went through mud and streams and we laughed.

It was quiet, I think that helped it wasn’t hot so we weren’t over heated and we made it. Not saying we’d ever achieve that again so we’ll accept today as a winner.

It was lovely to see three children run and enjoy the outdoors and three adults laugh and enjoy the fresh air something that we’ve not done in what seems like forever, meaning it’s been too long. Hopefully this is the start back of our Sunday adventures!

My waiting coffee was well deserved when I got back to the car!

Posted in blogging

Blogging numbers and why I don’t really care!

Stats, numbers, DA, social media and tots 100 are just a few words that go around in the blogging world.

Yes of course I have a look at them all, do I care? Honestly no!

Ok it gets a little disheartening when my numbers drop but I don’t put half as much time and effort into the blog as I should, I don’t take it as serious as I should. Maybe just maybe I could do so much more. But it’s time! Not going to lie a few of my posts have been written at 3am, my blog was set up as more as an online diary, it’s when I write, I ramble and I moan.

I’m happy with my followers I know that when they read what I write they’ve been brought in I’m guessing by autism, that big scary word! My aim was if I can help one person I’d be happy. I think I’ve achieved that. I love my followers who engage, like everyone I’d love more but is more really fun? Do you get the engagement, get to know your followers, kinda like the class sizes when your teacher has to teach thirty plus can she really get to know that individual child like the teacher in Sen school who has nine children?

Where am I going with this post?!

To be honest I’m unsure! I’m just having a bit of a ramble I suppose.

With January being half way through I need to write more, I enjoy writing. So my aim this year is share more blogs with my followers, maybe a few a month! Wish me luck!

Posted in Review, Uncategorized

A climbing frame to save our house!

Since before Z has been walking he’s been climbing, climbing everything from the settee to lately wardrobes. When he was little we had a slide/climbing frame in the living room, it did go into the sensory room for a bit then went into the garden, last year we got rid of it for his new climbing frame.

When last year he learnt he could climb the wardrobe and jump, or jump off the windowsill over and over again he cracked the ceiling in the living room, with the old lath and plaster it cracked and fell down.

I understand the climbing and jumping is all sensory, he needs to jump he needs the climb, the same way he has to run about.

We have the climbing frame, swing , slide set in the garden along with a trampoline, but he can’t play in the garden in the dark and rain at 8pm in the winter like he can in the summer months.

I needed to find something that he could climb, jump off if needed too, but was safe. I searched and searched the internet. I asked in groups and each time I was taken to sites that really wasn’t what I was looking for, until I came across sport kid.

Online help was great and I was talked through what I would need and how it would hold to the wall. No drilling!

Z’s mini gym / climbing frame was a go.

Ok, putting it together was a little harder but that may have been the instructions and me not making much sense of them, but once I started it was all up in the same day. Before we even got the net up Z was already chuffed with it and couldn’t wait to climb it.

We were going a little too slow for him so he had to try and help!

He’s played on it every day, he’s climbs, he’s swang, he’s ran, he’s climbed some more. He loves it.

Now I can’t wait to finish decorating his sensory room, mirrors will be next!

Being able to climb safely has helped Z’s mood, he’s been a calmer person, I’m not constantly following him around shouting ‘get down’, meaning he’s allowed upstairs on his own, as he’s not attempted to climb on the wardrobe since. He’s not trashing every room every two minutes, ok his room is still a mess but that’s his numbers and letters everywhere, that I can live with!

I’m thinking that this climbing frame really has helped Z with his sensory needs, my sanity as I can finally tidy the house!

I did receive a small discount for this climbing frame all opinions are my own.

Posted in journey to Zero waste

Week one of less plastic

Part of my New Years resolution was to produce less plastic waste.

Maybe last year I was a little conscious of this as I bought a stainless steel reusable bottle for myself, I very rarely bought a bag and would just put the shopping in the boot of my car, family and friends said it was laziness, now I know it was my conscious! I also changed to re usable sanitary products after suffering another reaction to a brand I thought I was fine using. I started swimming and for more room I bought a shampoo bar, I’ve not bought a bottle of shampoo since September. I also got Z on bath bombs instead of bubble bath. If I have been out for a drink I have refused a straw. I have been using a cloth wipe for Z’s nose and he constantly has a runny nose! So for a few months I’ve been using less plastic than I was.

This year I’ve upped my less plastic mission.

So the first week of January I’m quite pleased with smaller choices I’ve made. I bought some reusable kitchen roll, alongside some sponges for cleaning. Shopping I’ve bought my sauces in glass bottles instead of the plastic ones, when I finish the ketchup that will be in glass too. I bought glass bottles of lemonade and got Z a new stainless steel bottle, now to get him to drink from it! I’ve also ordered him a tin lunch box so when his plastic one breaks I won’t buy another. ( they are all cheaper this time of year as it’s not something people need in January!) I’m trying dry deodorant and miswak for my teeth. When I went and got my fruit I choose some that wasn’t in plastic and didn’t put it in a plastic bag either, 10 mushrooms later! I’ve bought a bar of soap, and must remember to take my cup with me, along with my bags.

I’ve also attempted to cut down on my meat so have tried to substitute things for vegetarian meals instead. So far I’m doing ok! I can’t give up my fish and eggs yet so won’t be vegan! I have changed my cheese and milk for vegan and soya but that was due to allergies, but now I can’t go back!

Yes, I have a long way to go, but one step and one month at a time right?

I love the fact that chatting away to my mates some think I’m crazy but one actually bought me some paper straws to go out with! How cool is that!

Can’t wait to come back in a few weeks and show you how much plastic I’m not using any more!