To be honest I think working where I was at the time was how we knew. Working as a nanny for a gynaecologist you just start chatting away. Was asked did I want children in the future etc, conversation most probably went umm not too sure, I suppose so when I’m a bit older ( I was what 26, but to me if I decided to have a baby at 28 it would be easy right?!) but I’ve heard I’ll have to have tests as it’s harder with an under-active thyroid.
She said to have tests now I can remember bloods at day 21 and to tell them that we’ve been actively trying for 3 years, until you’ve been trying for 3 years you won’t get any help and being past 25 they’d help.
Reluctantly off I went for bloods, yup all fine. Next up tube tested and the partner tested.
We had the results of the sperm test and before the doctor had told us I’d already taken the results to my ‘boss’! I was prepared, she said we’d actually need ivf and she would bet her money they’d suggest icsi. Now all this came as a surprise. A few weeks previously I wasn’t even thinking of having a baby, now I knew it was something I may never have I wanted it! So off we went to drs again, who sent us to another hospital and had all the tests again. All the same answers came back and we were referred to Cardiff Ivf. The wait here was ages! I think from referral to first appointment was around 18 months, in this 18 months there were so many baby’s born, something I’d never notice before.
18 months later and I was classed as obese, I couldn’t go any further until I lost two stone to get into a healthy bmi, said we’d roughly have 9 months before they would call us again.
We left gutted. I was gutted, 9 months to loose 2 stone it wasn’t going to happen. We left the hospital and went straight to the registry office with a date to get married. 7 months I now had to loose most of the 2 stone.
7 months I tried, I joined slimming world and walked everywhere. Best of all everyone thought this was to loose weight for the wedding, still no one knew we were going down the ivf route. Not that I felt ashamed in any way but what if it didn’t work, what if I didn’t loose the weight in time.
August came and we got married, November came and we had our appointment I made the weight! Think it was just about.
We were told that we’d go down the icsi route, so they would stimulate my ovaries and I’d have egg collection before they would fertilise each egg with an individual sperm and hopefully have embryo transfer 3-5 days later.
I left social media, during 2011 from January – September I knew of a baby being born. I couldn’t stay and watch scans and baby’s growing up. No explanation just one day went!
They put me on the pill for 6 weeks, during this time I gained a stone, I was terrified going back a stone heavier but they said some do gain on the pill not to worry, next up would inject every day, this would be to stimulate the ovaries to produce follicles. I was scanned every other day. It nearly all got cancelled I had ohss ovaries were producing too many. But we went ahead a few days earlier than planned.
18 eggs were removed, 17 fertilised that same day, the following day, 11 survivors, they advised a day 5 transfer as we had so many, and ohss, that was it wouldn’t know any more until we got there on day 5. The wait was torture the not knowing. Day 5 and 5 survived, 5 from the original 11. 2 of those wouldn’t be considered they’d give them another day to see if they’d make freezing. Z was transferred and 2 were frozen, the other 2 didn’t make day 6.
And here we have Z, who’s made me worry since day 1! Who’ll continue to keep me worried, if we had gone for a day 3 transfer Z would have been the weakest and wouldn’t have been considered. So thankful we had a day 5.
I’ll always be grateful for working for the gynaecologist and for her telling me to get tested, and explaining everything too me. If it wasn’t for her Z wouldn’t be here my journey would only just be beginning, maybe I’d have gotten some answers myself by the time I’d hit 30 a year after Z was born but who knows? I know I wouldn’t be where I am anyways.
I know infertility is a lonely journey, to see other people having baby after baby, smoking and drinking whilst pregnant. When your sat in that waiting room you see all sorts, professional looking people to sporty people and scruffs like myself !