Z’s words are getting there, I couldn’t say how many words he knows because that’s loads. I couldn’t say how many words he’ll use to communicate because these vary with different people.

He’ll do things for me that he won’t do for anyone else, yet There’s things he’ll do for others that I just look and say no!

When I decided to have a baby that was it, you expect to get pregnant, give birth, feed them and watch them grow, watch them learn lots of words and by age 4 have a proper conversation. I didn’t ever think that not being able to speak would come into it.

Add autism and at 6 I’ve never had a conversation with my son, with spoken language.

As his mother I’ve learnt how to deal with Z, what he wants or needs without speaking.

When he was a baby in toddler groups if he wanted food or to go he’d pass me my bag. As he got a little older when time was up he’d run to the doors. Possibly crying.

Now at 6 I’ve picked up on the communication. A lot of the time if both my husband and I are in the same room Z won’t say ‘Toilet’ but will continue to run back and forth. If there’s only one of us he’ll say ‘toilet’. I know there was a small problem at school where he’d only go for his teacher. That could be because he trusts her or because I told him pee for * teachers name*

There’s so much I’ve learnt from no spoken language. When it’s too loud he’ll cover his ears, ok time to leave. If he’s happy he’ll not stop smiling, you can see the smile in his eyes, yet if he doesn’t like it that smile goes out. If he’s really excited he will flap. I love this, most of his flapping is done in the sea.

When he’s tired his colour will go. When he’s sick it depends what. He doesn’t lay down it’s ear ache, coughing tends to be tonsillitis, red mark and not using the body part cellulitis. I’ve not had to learn anything else yet. Thankfully.

I’m not sure when I learnt what different things meant. I suppose it’s just something you do.

There are still so many things I don’t know. Friday, he wouldn’t keep his shoes on. They are not new he’s had them a few weeks and worn them fine. Was it the socks? Did he just not want shoes on and got into the habit of indoors shoes can come off. I don’t know and I may never know!

I’m hoping one day we will have a conversation how ever random it would be, if that’s not in spoken language and Z spells it all out I’ll live with that. I do think that he may one day even if it’s just one word he’ll use it to get what he wants.

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