It’s Thursday! A week today we would have had Z’s doctors appointment. I wasn’t  thinking too much of it until we got home from swimming today, I had a letter, he has speech therapy Monday at 9. Yes, short notice I was thinking too! Lucky Z’s portage worker wasn’t off on holidays as she comes at 10.00 on a Monday, and I didnt know if I would be back. So after talking to her about Thursday,    ( again I think she’s calmed me down a little! Yea only a little!) not that I’m all that worked up. Why am I worked up now? Well not worked up, worried? It’s a strange one. One I don’t even think I could explain if I had all the words and time in front of me. Thinking what if I’m wrong ? What if it’s all in my head! What if, what if , what if! 
 But I’ll leave those what ifs, safely in the back of my mind, where they won’t come out and play little tricks on me! I have a busy few days ahead, vodka Friday tomorrow! Then a day out Saturday , swimming and a christening on Sunday, oh docs Monday, indoor play centre Tuesday, then Wednesday, a day of doing nothing.  Then the little what’s ifs will come back out!! 
 Swimming this morning, and Z loves it, loves the running and the freedom of the water, he’s just gotten to be brave enough to sit and go down the slide, instead of head first, water in his face and he gets up and does it all again. He wasn’t too bad in the showers afterwards today either. Fruit shoot and toast in the cafe, coffee for J and me, and home, ( too said letter!) he was sleeping by 12, I woke him at 3. 
He didnt want to get up! Kept throwing those blankets back over him! Unlucky mate, Your not up till 10.30 tonight and up at 7 in the morning! 

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