As I’m sitting here watching Z eat an apple, that he choose and wanted to eat, it takes me back to this time four years ago. 
Was this time I started my ivf treatment. I can remember it like it was yesterday and not four years ago. Pulling the lid off the needle, getting it to the right setting, grabbing my belly fat and boom straight in! A few bruises but I coped ok, until the second lot of injection the second week, these ones I had a bit of a reaction too. May trips to Cardiff hospital every day and was all ready for my egg collection. 
Every year on Feb 10th we have a ‘made today’ day! We get a cake and have little party food, just me, G and Z. It’s kinda like two birthdays! I know I can keep this tradition with the two frozen embryos left if I ever defrosted them and they grew into babies, as they were all conceived the same day. 
It makes you think of those frozen, I know I have to defrost them, but when I don’t know. I know I have to be ready, both physically and mentally. I’m not there yet. I’m sure I’ll get there some day! 
Wonder what cake we’ll get in two weeks time! 

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