Today Z is four. 
Four. I can’t believe how fast the last four years have gone. 
This time four years ago I was being stitched up after having Z by emergency section. Our first picture of him was taken at around twelve, two hours after he was brought into the world crying! 

From day one he had that way that he’d make you fall in love with him! 
At four I’d expect an excited little boy, one that would rip open presents, play with them and be excited about having a party or going out for the day. I don’t. It’s not just another day to Z, it’s one that overwhelms him. I gave him three wrapped presents. He tried to unwrap them, he gave them a good go, after I had opened itbto show him there was something inside, but he wasn’t really interested. He wanted to play with his numbers, they don’t change. 

When you have a baby you don’t expect at four to still have a toddler. With Z being so small born we seemed to have a baby for a long time, he was still very small walking!  Then he became a toddler, and we still have our toddler. Some one who is still in nappies, someone that don’t talk, someone that sees no danger and someone who still doesn’t sleep through the night a lot of nights. We still have to change him, dress him, make sure he is safe. Watch over him like you would an eighteen month old. 
It’s not something you think of when you decide to have a baby, in what happens if he don’t do these things, it’s all aimed at milestones. But Z does things in his own way, in his own time. How many four year olds can spell ‘Alligator’? 

So for every little milestone according to the ‘books’ that Z doesn’t hit or has already missed look at what he has hit that are not in those books, well at least for many years! 
So here’s to the next year, the next four years. It’s exciting to see where he’ll be at in those years, when I look back and see what his achievements will be. 
I know one thing that I have an amazing little boy,one that he’s taught me how to care for him without speech, how to understand him without him talking, how to know what he wants by his actions. Like when he runs out of a park I know he’s had enough and we’re heading back to the car. He can’t tell me he’s had enough he just shows me. 

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