All I can say is I’m glad Wednesday is nearly over, means tomorrow is Thursday and then it’s Friday! Not only is it vodka day but also Orange is the new black. Yea I know how sad?!
Another tough one today, maybe for different reasons that just Z alone, other than everything getting on top of me, I’ve had my mates dads funeral. Could that be a reason for my ‘down’ week?
I think most of it is Z and not getting out of the car. S met me outside creche, Z at first I thought was going to be good, nah, he screamed and attacked. We are going to try a new approach. I left him and went and got a drink and clover from the house. Reasoning that when we go home he’ll associate those things with home. I can but try, I’d try anything right now, you can even fight for him and I’ll have him a few hours a week!
If I’m not at work Z is with me, so leaving him in creche whilst I’m sitting in a car park ( I needed dog food), and writing this feels so wrong. Feels like I’m fobbing him off on the girls at creche, he’s mine I wanted him I should have to deal with him, good or bad days. I’ve been told that’s the wrong way to look at it, but I can’t see it any other way, I wanted him so therefore he’s my responsibility.
I’ve been sat here 10 minutes or more, I really should go get dog food and go collect my child. Sitting in a car with my glasses on nobody can see the mess I’m in, outside or inside, I wish I could just take everything that’s going on in my head and maybe move them? Get rid of them, but that’s not really the answer!
So come on, get up, there’s many more people out there that’s no where near as lucky as I am!

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