If like me you were lucky enough to receive portage for your child, I’m sure you’ll agree it’s one of the best things you can get.
Z’s portage worker has not only been absolutely amazing with him but been a god send to me. 
If you weren’t lucky enough to get portage, yes you missed out.  If you are just starting your journey with portage your in for a good few weeks / months. 
So what is portage, for Z it’s where she came and taught him to sit at a table and to start and finish an activity, to learn a bit of patience, to learn things are a two way deal. To learn he won’t always get his way and to teach him I think to love someone other than family . I think he really took to her, every time she left he cried. Who ever says children with autism don’t love or show empathy are wrong. He just shows it to certain people and if he does you are lucky and special. 
 She saw us at our best, she saw us at our worst. She saw the house a mess ( when she ran late and Z destroyed it!) and not once did she judge. She wiped snot and tears, and not always Z’s! The few times I broke she was the one to pick me back up. (With a little help from J I must add, she had the vodka!) I don’t think I broke that many times, but when I did she was the one who would be at the end of the phone, think the only one who heard me cry, to hear the I can’t do it, to see me cry. One of the only people who insisted and warned me a hug was coming! Out of all the professionals that come, she seemed to understand the struggles the most. She always had an answer, an idea, a new way to try. She not only spent time playing with Z, but spent time form filling, reassuring me that what I was doing was for the best, she put my mind at ease, which in turn made things easier when I was dealing with hard behaviour! She burnt in the sun and froze in the cold, just to make sure I was ok. She came to hospital appointments, I can’t say she held my hand but I’m sure if that’s what I really wanted she would have! 
She put me in touch with N, and even though I was hesitant to ring a random I’m glad she said do it. N has become a huge part of our lives now, and, again I think without her taking me in and introducing me to her little NAS family I would be somebody else. 
What does it mean now she’s gone, honestly I don’t know. Who’s going to pick me up if I break again seems no one else have seen or heard my tears. If on her travels she wanted to pop in to say hi, stop for a coffee, she would always be welcome. I’m sure Z would love her to come and tickle his neck! So Portage you are always welcome to come back and play! 
So from Z and myself we both want to say a huge thank you for every thing you have done for us this past twelve months and we will both miss you loads. Please keep in touch x 

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