It’s playgroup day, I’m not going, I’ve been warned not to distance myself, I’m going shopping instead, maybe this is an easier way out? I feel a little bad as Z haven’t been anywhere this week. Next week I’ll be there. Everyone deserves a day off don’t they?
Z needs food, he needs sausage rolls and fish fingers, as this is what his diet consists of lately I’ve decided that that’s what I’ll cook him. Why am I cooking him food and then cooking fish fingers or fish cakes afterwards. Fish is good for you, isn’t it? As for the sausage roll, it’s food, he’s eating I’m happy.
It’s true, the little things, like yesterday a cheese spread sarnie, yes, a few weeks back he wouldn’t touch it. He’s got to the point he’ll even dip his crackers in the spread, as long as they the ones that come in the pot, can’t add any to the pot! But I’ll take that as progress.
I sit and think I’m actually still lucky, right, he can be hard work, but I wouldn’t change him. People struggle every day, I’m lucky I have a job and a roof over my head. I’m lucky I have Z. I hear of all those people who try for years for a child and still don’t get what they want. How many of them go through years of failed ivf, it worked first time, that’s a one in four chance or 25%. That’s luck!
So, I need to think I have luck on my side, and will continue to have luck from now on. Can it be luck who walks into your life? Or is that fate? Is it all fate?
To all my mates, some may read this others don’t, if I’m quiet for the next few days, I’m fine, honestly, I’ll be back! I’ll be back to my charming ways, I just need a few days of me time, of sitting doing nothing, reading my book and thinking how lucky I actually am. I have you guys all txting me, I will reply, I promise. So thanks! Thanks for being there, yea I know I wouldn’t thank you all to your faces I’m not that brave! J & A ( I know you will most probably read it!) thanks! I’d say come for coffee but I’m out of coffee pods, should have them by next week! Maybe that’s what up I need more coffee in my life!!

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