When you have the sad news of the family has been called as your Nan has taken the turn for the worst.
As sad as it is it’s a blessing, I just hope it’s quick and as painless as can be.
Vascular dementia is unlike Alzheimer’s, Alzheimer’s you can get good and bad days, you maybe able to remember loved ones, sing along to your favourite songs. Vascular dementia you don’t.
I lost my Nan around about two years ago when she stopped speaking.
No I didn’t go to see her, the last time I seen her she didn’t talk. She was just about walking, a few weeks later she stopped walking.
My Nan is like a baby, she doesn’t talk, walk, gets fed and has her nappy changed. How mortified she would be if she knew what was happening.
When she got diagnosed with vascular dementia it was a death sentence a waiting game. There is no medication for vascular, Alzheimer’s you can have medication that may help vascular there’s no hope, nothing. That one organ that does so much that I’d say is equally as important as the heart is dying, a also agonising death.
I remember being told in 2011 that she had dementia no one knew then that it was vascular, as soon as it was known that was it, no help, nothing. Slowly she has resorted back to a newborn. Unlike a newborn with vascular dementia you can loose the ability to swallow. Being a prisoner in ones own brain, being unable to eat, drink, walk and talk.
Without the ability to talk how do we know when she’s in pain? How do we know what you are feeding her she likes? She can’t tell you she don’t like that food.
How is that a quality of life?
Yes you can say I have no right to write these things I’ve not seen her in two years. I have heard how much she’s deteriorated over the last two years and dying will be a blessing. She won’t be in any pain. She won’t just be going through the motions of being woken, being fed, having her bum changed, being put to sleep. Starting at the same four walls, not knowing what’s happening.
How do we know a brain dying isn’t causing her any pain, we don’t.
Of course wishing death on someone doesn’t sound like something a granddaughter should be doing.
Look at it logically it really is out of love, yes I’d love to spend one more day walking the mountains with my nan, sitting and eating jelly and ice cream but that’s not going to happen she isn’t going to come back. She’s not going to offer me a mint she has lost the ability to talk, the ability to communicate with anybody. She has forgotten she is a mother a grandmother. All those precious memories she can not remember.
How is that fair? How is that fair to keep someone alive that can’t remember any thing? So yes when I say I hope my Nan don’t make it to see tomorrow it’s for that reason.
I know everyone will not see my logical thinking on this one and I’m not asking for you to agree with me you can disagree with me all you want.

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