I’ve never said I hate autism before, maybe hate is a strong word to use, but when you’ve had no sleep I feel it’s justified. 
Looking back on the newborn stage how did I manage, I think not worrying that I had to be up and out of the house for work may have helped, as it is now Z falls back asleep anytime from 5-6 and I’m waking a screaming child at 7.30. 
Autism, why do I say its autism now and not a child. Because the less sleep he has the less he needs. He wakes at 3 and the next night and it continues as some sort of routine, until he crashes and sleeps past that 3am wake up. When I’m laying here head aching from no sleep, then tears from being so tired I think why lay here, why not just get him up so I don’t have to wake him in an hour and half. He needs a morning where I don’t have to wake him, that he gets to stay asleep and it will put his clock back tidy, that time won’t be until the holidays. Weekends don’t work. 
Bet most parents have cried their way through a night and worked the following day, but do they tell you how hard it is. When the next day consists of appointment after appointment, ok that’s not till tomorrow I have to get through today first. 

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