Following on from my last post about being Z’s voice it’s made me think a little more.
I gave him his iPad back, I think we’re at the understanding point that 10pm it goes on charge. Professionals say no electronics before bed as it has an effect on sleep. He’s not been going until 11 most nights anyways, so now for that hour he puts his cds back on, spells some words and plays the keyboards.
Professionals, who are they exactly? They are what they’ve been taught to be. But who better to teach me about my son than adults who were that child with autism, those adults we grew up and you know what still have autism. Shouldn’t these people be the professionals here? If they are saying therapies like aba are harmful, damaging and stress inducing why are the so called professionals still telling those newly diagnosed children’s parents these things are good?
I’ve said many times I wish he could talk, of course as his parent isn’t that what every parent wants? But he’s learning to communicate, looking back he’s always communicated, it’s only now I’m understanding his behaviour as communication.
Now I’m working on communicating, so he’s been given his iPad back and we’re both learning to communicate via his iPad, I’m not quite sure if maybe I should start texting him as well as saying pizza is ready? When you chat using sign language you can still talk too.
This all started with behaviours at school, he’s never lashed out, I thought it was all the iPad and removed it, looking back he was communicating to me that he didn’t want to go, now hopefully school is sorted he’s happy. I will always use my voice because I’m lucky I can. I may not be able to say what I want at the time but I can, Z can’t. So I have to look, I have to watch and I have to remember behaviours.
I may tell him at 9.45 it’s nearly bed time now, then 10 I’ll say I need to charge your iPad now because it’s bed time. He hands it over, that’s not a routine as such but more a schedule of events! right now it’s working.
These last few weeks a few lightbulb moments have actually gone off, I’ve done a lot of reading, asking questions and those answers have made so much sense. I have to keep reading, April will be autism awareness month and I’m going to try and read some books I’ve been led too.
If people thought Z was spoilt before he’s about to become a lot more. Of course no still means no, safety side of things have to be adhered too, but I think giving him more choice, trying to help him communicate in however he wants will be my way forward. Before I’d listen to the professionals and say use your words, now I’ll be asking can he use words. If he can’t at that time and just wants to move my hand to the bread for toast that’s ok too. There’s no aba at school, no food reinforcement as he’s not a dog and his iPad back, I do feel guilty for taking it to charge but we all loose our voice when we’re sleeping right !